Can somebody check for me? thank you (part 3)更新中……

noobiie_moii

本帖最后由 看不没有做 于 2013-4-8 07:31 PM 编辑


This article is my real own experience, i hope that i can share some experience and get some feedback from you, thank a lot


My First presentation experience(part 1)


Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and then give a talk i have never given a speech in front of any people. After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'. we need to prepare a presentation on the title, regarding the "world famous entrepreneur"Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possibleand we need to make a decision, on which types of entrepreneur we are going to give a speech on asap , it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.reason being, if it was to be selected by the others, we will not be able to use the same topic
I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoosuddenly, i seems like an animal from the zoo. I ask our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I leave out of my seati left my seat, and go to in front to fill out the formand walk to the front, to fill up the form.

I know at the time, my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosenthat i had chosen.   They guess me choosing Bill Gatesthey were guessing about me choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choosei chose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are crazy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobsevery body is rushing to choose Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.They seems to only know these two entrepreneur rather than the others.

After i done the decisionAfter the decision was done by me, i can slow downi am able to slow down my steps for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to presenti almost have a concept, on how well the presentation i will make . Therefore, i go to ask Googlei get informations through google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English articlenever matters if it is in which language. I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert KuokThere is no information on Robert kuok which is negative. Reasons why i decided to present him? that is why i made a presentation about himBecause he is my idolhe is my idol, I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long he says: "as longas we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.

to be continued~~

part 2


i just check and amend "some", although my english was not that perfect as well, but i do think that by rephrasing some of the sentence, it will be better. Hope every one of us checking can learn from each others as well. thank you.

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Part 3
For me, I spent too much time to collect the information, but I neglected the time management, so that means a lot of efforts were gone away. This was because the limited time was not enough to allow me to present all the things. Hence, I prepared again the draft of presentation, cut down the useless parts and kept the important parts. It was hard to me to forfeit the things that i did, they seemed like my sons, I couldn't live without them.
Lastly, I used the rule of 8/2 in my presentation. In addition, the important parts were still a lot, so i want to speed up my speaking speed. It was harder for me, but I knew nobody would help me if I didn't force me to do that, so, that's a critical period. That was the crazy thing that I had never had before.

'Practice makes perfect', I trained myself through practice, practice and practice. Did you practice in front of mirror? Of course, I did. I practiced when I was walking, eating, shitting, bathing, and sleeping. In addition, I used the recorder to record my talking, so that I would know where was the problem when i was speaking. The total of records were not less than 100.

All the things i prepared myself even though the draft, but I thought my draft was not using the proper English. It was because most of them I translated from chinese to english, i swallowed all the information that i had read, and then described them through the use of my own words. Your own words were more powerful and important than others, because sometimes you cannot understand others totally, so the information that you are transiting maybe wrong. Therefore, I always swallow the information that i got, and then just represent through my own words until now.

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lifeissianz 发表于 2013-4-25 07:22 PM
While preparing my presentation, I done an insane subject to present In my presentation. I read  ...

thank you for your helping~
I am appreciated~

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unknownhammie 发表于 2013-5-3 08:40 PM
I had never stand in front of people before I started my studies in college. After 1-2 weeks of stud ...

thank you for your helping~
I am appreciated~
I will be going on for improving my English.

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noobiie_moii 发表于 2013-5-11 09:14 PM
本帖最后由 看不没有做 于 2013-4-8 07:31 PM 编辑

thank you for your helping~
I am appreciated~
gambateh for our future~

noobiie_moii

看不没有做 发表于 2013-5-12 08:43 PM
Part 3
For me, I spent too much time to collect the information, but I neglected the time managemen ...

in an essay, try not to ask a question. not very appropriate, as you should be answering the question itself.

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noobiie_moii 发表于 2013-5-12 10:37 PM
in an essay, try not to ask a question. not very appropriate, as you should be answering the quest ...

Thank you for your correction.

noobiie_moii

看不没有做 发表于 2013-5-12 08:57 PM
thank you for your helping~
I am appreciated~
I will be going on for improving my Eng ...

and erm, i just realized. you write shitting =.=

you got a bit of the problem on present/past tense. perhaps, you can double check on your tenses after finish writing.

try not to finish a sentence without "," you may pause, before finishing your talk. (just like singing, there will be a pause some where for you to breath, before you continues.)

you're very welcome.